Do you love Forrest Gump? Many of us connect deeply with the characters in that movie, especially when it comes to healing from trauma. Or maybe you’ve felt the weight of childhood trauma in your own life—experiencing anxiety, low self-esteem, or feeling disconnected from others. If that resonates with you, you’re not alone.
In Forrest Gump, Jenny’s character represents many people who’ve been shaped by childhood abuse. Unlike Forrest, who was raised to believe in himself no matter what, Jenny grew up in a toxic family system. Her father’s abuse became something her subconscious mind adapted to, even though she consciously knew it wasn’t right. This highlights one of the hardest parts of healing from childhood trauma: when abuse is normalized, it can take decades to fully unpack and understand.
Forrest vs. Jenny: A Contrast in Belief and Trauma
Forrest’s journey is marked by self-belief. Thanks to his mother, he grew up knowing he was just as good as anyone else. This belief carried him through life’s challenges—whether it was overcoming bullying, achieving success in sports, or building a career. Despite his intellectual disability, Forrest’s unwavering belief in himself allowed him to thrive.
Jenny’s story was much different. As a child, she endured abuse that shaped her self-image. Even though she wasn’t presumed to have any intellectual limitations like Forrest, the trauma she experienced took far longer to heal. Toxic family systems often do this: they convince you that abuse is normal, and the subconscious mind (or “lizard brain”) adapts to the chaos, even when the conscious mind knows better. As a result, Jenny spent much of her life struggling with self-destructive behavior, trying to escape feelings of worthlessness planted in childhood.
The Subconscious Mind: How Trauma Shapes Us
One of the most difficult aspects of childhood trauma is that it rewires our subconscious minds, making unhealthy patterns feel normal. This is why so many survivors of abuse find themselves in toxic relationships later in life—they’re unconsciously drawn to what’s familiar, even if they know better intellectually.
It’s the classic struggle between the subconscious and conscious minds: you know abuse is wrong, but because it was normalized when you were young, your lizard brain can’t easily distinguish healthy relationships from unhealthy ones. This can lead to confusion, fear, and anxiety that lingers long into adulthood, and it often takes an adult mind to truly understand how these childhood experiences shaped you.
Toxic people—especially those in positions of authority, like parents—can plant fear and confusion that takes years to unravel. Children are particularly vulnerable because they’re often convinced that the abuse they’re experiencing is somehow their fault or just how the world works. And this early conditioning can make the healing process a long and complicated journey.
Common Symptoms of Trauma: Do You Recognize These?
If you’ve experienced childhood trauma, you might relate to these common symptoms:
1. Emotional Reactions
- Shock or disbelief: Difficulty processing or accepting what happened.
- Fear or anxiety: A sense of constant worry, hypervigilance, or panic attacks.
- Anger or irritability: Intense frustration or feeling on edge.
- Sadness or depression: Persistent feelings of grief, hopelessness, or isolation.
- Guilt or shame: Survivors may feel responsible for the event or guilty for surviving.
2. Physical Symptoms
- Fatigue or exhaustion: Persistent tiredness despite rest.
- Aches and pains: Unexplained physical pain, such as headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues.
- Changes in sleep patterns: Difficulty falling asleep, nightmares, or insomnia.
- Changes in appetite: Overeating or loss of appetite.
3. Cognitive Reactions
- Confusion or difficulty concentrating: Trouble focusing or making decisions.
- Intrusive thoughts or flashbacks: Reliving the traumatic event as if it were happening again.
- Memory problems: Difficulty recalling parts of the trauma or details surrounding the event.
4. Behavioral Reactions
- Avoidance: Steering clear of reminders, places, people, or activities associated with the trauma.
- Withdrawal: Isolating from loved ones, social situations, or activities once enjoyed.
- Risky behaviors: Increased substance use, reckless driving, or other harmful behaviors.
- Hypervigilance: Constantly feeling “on edge” or scanning the environment for potential threats.
5. Relational Changes
- Difficulties in relationships: Strain in personal connections, feeling disconnected or misunderstood by others.
- Trust issues: Difficulty trusting people, even those close to you.
6. Spiritual or Existential Changes
- Loss of faith: Questioning or losing belief in a higher power or life’s meaning.
- Sense of isolation: Feeling detached from others or the world around you.
Do these sound familiar? Trauma often goes unrecognized for years, especially when it was normalized in childhood. Like Jenny, many people don’t begin to fully process the impact of their experiences until much later in life. But recognizing the signs of trauma is the first step toward healing.
Practical Tips for Healing
While professional intervention is often helpful, there are several things you can do to start your healing journey on your own. Here are some practical, self-guided steps to help you unlearn toxic patterns and nurture your emotional well-being:
- Practice Self-Compassion
Healing begins with self-compassion. Acknowledge that what you experienced wasn’t your fault, and be gentle with yourself as you navigate the healing process. Challenge negative self-talk and replace it with words of kindness. A simple practice is to speak to yourself the way you would comfort a close friend going through the same struggles. - Start Journaling
Writing down your thoughts and feelings is a powerful way to process trauma. When you put your experiences on paper, it can help you make sense of emotions that feel overwhelming. Journaling can also help you track your progress, recognize patterns, and release suppressed emotions. - Set Healthy Boundaries
One of the most important steps in healing from toxic family systems is learning how to set boundaries. This includes distancing yourself from people who may trigger your trauma or perpetuate unhealthy patterns. Be clear with yourself and others about what you need to feel safe and supported. - Engage in Mindfulness and Meditation
Trauma often leaves you feeling disconnected from your body and the present moment. Mindfulness and meditation practices can help you reconnect. Try simple breathing exercises, guided meditations, or yoga to reduce anxiety and bring yourself back to the present. - Educate Yourself About Trauma
Understanding how trauma works can empower you to heal. Read books, listen to podcasts, or watch educational videos that delve into the nature of trauma and its effects on the brain. By understanding the root causes of your feelings and behaviors, you can begin to dismantle toxic patterns more effectively. - Foster Supportive Relationships
Seek out friends or community groups where you feel safe, heard, and supported. Healing doesn’t have to be a solo journey—finding people who can uplift you during tough times can make a huge difference. - Create a Routine for Self-Care
Trauma can often disrupt our sense of stability. Create a routine that includes self-care activities you enjoy, whether it’s taking a bath, going for a walk, or spending time with loved ones. Having a consistent routine can ground you and give you a sense of control over your environment. - Challenge Negative Beliefs
Over time, trauma can shape your beliefs about yourself and the world. Challenge these negative beliefs by replacing them with affirmations and positive truths. For example, if you struggle with feeling unworthy, remind yourself daily that you deserve love, peace, and happiness.
These steps can help you start the journey of healing on your own, but if you find that your trauma feels too overwhelming to handle alone, it’s okay to seek professional support. Therapy or counseling may become necessary, but it’s always your choice and at your own pace.
Healing: Self-Compassion and Unlearning Toxic Patterns
Healing from trauma requires self-compassion and the courage to unlearn toxic patterns that were ingrained in childhood. It’s not easy, and it takes time—but it’s possible. One of the most important things to understand is that healing doesn’t happen overnight. Just like Jenny’s journey, it can take years to undo the damage caused by toxic family systems.
This is where self-compassion comes in. Healing means giving yourself the grace to process those emotions, the patience to unlearn what no longer serves you, and the belief that you are not defined by your past. You are worthy of healing and happiness—no matter how long it takes to get there.
Belief in Yourself: Learning from Forrest’s Lesson
One of the greatest lessons from Forrest Gump is the power of belief. Forrest’s success was rooted in his mother’s teachings: he was no less capable than anyone else. This unwavering belief carried him through life’s challenges and opened doors for him that others thought impossible.
Healing from trauma means relearning how to believe in yourself. It means understanding that even if your past is filled with pain or confusion, your future doesn’t have to be. Trauma often clouds our sense of self-worth, but just like Forrest, you have the power to build a life full of meaning, love, and success—no matter what your starting point was.
Moving Forward: Reclaiming Your Story
If Forrest Gump teaches us anything, it’s that healing is possible. Whether you identify more with Forrest’s belief in himself or Jenny’s longer, harder journey to self-acceptance, know this: you have the power to reclaim your story.
You are not defined by your trauma. You are defined by your resilience and your courage to heal. Every step forward, no matter how small, is a victory. Be patient with yourself. The healing journey may be long, but the peace, self-love, and happiness you’re working toward are worth every step.