When you’re on a journey to heal, it can become crystal clear that some people in your life are standing in the way. Certain individuals have toxic qualities they refuse to change. Maybe you’ve endured physical or emotional abuse in your family or romantic relationships. Maybe you’re exhausted from the constant verbal abuse of a so-called friend or supervisor at work. No matter the source, one thing is certain: you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect. If someone in your life isn’t honoring that truth, they have no place in your future.
From as early as eight years old, I knew deep in my soul that I was destined to travel the world and leave my family behind. I didn’t expect to ever look back. Even at that young age, I could see how dysfunctional my family system was. Yet, I stayed in the same city far longer than I intended, mainly because those around me planted seeds of doubt—trying to guilt me, convince me I wasn’t capable of thriving on my own. But deep down, I always knew better.
Cutting ties with family, friends, or partners who have become your whole world is no small feat. The emotional connection you feel toward them is natural—it’s a sign of your humanity, not a reason to stay stuck. Sometimes, people who have mistreated us for years will suddenly change their behavior when they sense we’re ready to break free. Don’t be fooled by this temporary shift. Real, lasting change doesn’t happen to keep someone around; it comes from a deep transformation within. Others may try to make you feel guilty for leaving or fill your mind with fear about how hard life will be on your own. But here’s the truth: you are stronger and more capable than you know.
Yes, change can be uncomfortable, even scary, but it’s also your gateway to growth. When you remove the energy-sucking people from your life, you make room for something much better: yourself. Suddenly, you’ll have more time and energy for self-care, for the things that truly bring you joy. This creates space for you to attract new relationships with people who uplift and inspire you, rather than drain you.
Don’t let fear of the unknown hold you back. The devil you know may feel familiar, but the one you don’t know might not even exist. The world is overflowing with opportunities, and thanks to the internet, those opportunities are more accessible than ever before. Here are some powerful steps to take inventory of your positive qualities and use them to create opportunities for yourself:
- Identify your unique strengths: Make a list of your skills, talents, and the personal qualities that make you stand out. Embrace what makes you special.
- Reflect on your victories: Look back at your past achievements. What strengths helped you succeed? Let those moments remind you of your capability.
- Invest in self-growth: Commit to learning something new that aligns with your strengths or passions. Growth fuels your confidence and opens doors to new possibilities.
- Build your support network: Surround yourself with people who value and appreciate your strengths. Seek mentors and peers who uplift you and help you see your potential.
- Trust yourself: Trust your intuition and the path you’re on. When you understand your value, you won’t allow anyone or anything to stand in your way. You’ll create the opportunities that are meant for you.
Don’t be afraid to walk alone. It’s healthier to spend time with yourself than to waste energy on people who take without giving, or worse, who abuse and deplete you. The truth is that no one is perfect. Other people will make mistakes, let you down, and sometimes even act in ways that hurt you. While it’s possible to find reliable and trustworthy people, building that kind of trust takes time, and it’s a process that should never be rushed—especially when you’re feeling vulnerable. In the meantime, give yourself permission to take space for yourself. You are more than capable of standing on your own. You can rely on yourself, and you can always rely on the Universe or God to guide you.
When you feel trapped, hopeless, or overwhelmed, resist the urge to seek comfort in places outside yourself. Turning to others for validation, or seeking solace through addictions, codependency, or unhealthy relationships, often leads to disappointment and further pain. Instead, tap into the infinite well of strength within you. Here are some powerful steps to help you release external crutches and turn inward for solace:
- Practice self-reflection daily: Make time to check in with yourself each day. Reflect on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors, and understand where you’re seeking external validation. A journal can be a helpful tool for tracking your journey.
- Set healthy boundaries: Learn to say no to people or situations that drain your energy. Boundaries protect your peace and create space for healthy, balanced relationships. Prioritize what nurtures your well-being.
- Develop a daily spiritual or mindfulness practice: Whether through prayer, meditation, or simply spending quiet moments in nature, connecting with a higher power or your inner self provides the grounding and peace you seek from the outside world.
- Detach from others’ approval: Realize that you don’t need anyone else’s validation to be whole. When you stop seeking approval from others, you free yourself from their power over your emotions. Your worth comes from within, not from what others think.
- Redirect addictive behaviors into positive outlets: When you feel the urge to fall into old patterns—whether it’s substances, unhealthy relationships, or emotional dependencies—channel that energy into activities that uplift and empower you. Exercise, creative expression, or learning new skills can provide the healthy dopamine release your brain craves.
- Practice radical self-compassion: Release any guilt or shame that you might feel about your past choices or behaviors. Instead, treat yourself with kindness and forgiveness. The more compassion you show yourself, the easier it becomes to rely on your inner strength.
- Strengthen your emotional intelligence: Learn to recognize and name your emotions without judgment. When you understand your emotional landscape, you’re less likely to react impulsively or seek solace in external distractions.
- Surround yourself with positive affirmations: Reinforce your belief in your inner power by speaking affirmations that remind you of your worth. Say things like, “I am enough,” “I trust myself,” and “I am my own source of strength.” Over time, these affirmations will become your truth.
- Build self-trust through small wins: Start with small, achievable goals that allow you to prove to yourself that you’re capable. Each time you follow through on a promise you’ve made to yourself, you strengthen your trust in your own abilities.
Always remember: it’s never too late to start fresh. Every day is a new chance to make choices that nurture your well-being. You know yourself better than anyone ever could, and you have everything you need within you to navigate life’s challenges. Trust yourself, embrace your power, and let go of anything—or anyone—that doesn’t support your growth. With faith in yourself and the guidance of a higher power, you will always find the answers you seek.