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Empowerment Self-Care

Reigniting Childhood Optimism: A Path to Overcoming Trauma

Do you remember the unshakable optimism you had as a child? The belief that magic was real and the world was full of endless possibilities? As children, many of us embraced this sense of wonder naturally, even when life wasn’t perfect. I, too, felt that optimism despite a difficult home life, believing that somehow, everything would work out.

But as the hardships piled up—whether from personal trauma, societal issues, or systemic oppression—that optimism started to slip away. By the time I reached high school, my once-bright outlook felt unrealistic, even naïve. My hope dwindled, and pessimism crept in, convincing me that the world was too broken for optimism. Sound familiar?

The good news is, even after trauma, we can reignite that childhood optimism. We can restore hope and drive, not by pretending the world is perfect, but by learning how to balance reality with optimism. Drawing from authors like Martin Seligman, bell hooks, and Audre Lorde, here’s how you can begin this journey.

Losing Optimism: A Common Experience

As children, many of us are optimistic because we’re encouraged to believe that we can be anything and do anything. That natural optimism can carry us through even tough moments. But as life throws more challenges at us—whether personal hardships, loss, or systemic oppression—our optimism starts to fade. For me, it felt like my childhood hope shattered by the end of my junior year in high school.

Psychologist Martin Seligman offers a helpful framework here. He talks about learned optimism versus learned helplessness. When faced with repeated setbacks, we can start to believe that nothing will ever change, leading us to give up. But with some effort, we can relearn optimism, even after trauma. The key is reframing how we see our struggles.

Strategy 1: Reframe Past Difficulties as Lessons

It’s hard to stay optimistic when life keeps knocking you down. But instead of seeing trauma as something that breaks you, what if you saw it as something that taught you how strong you really are? This is where post-traumatic growth comes in—the idea that you can not only heal from trauma but grow because of it.

One author who’s deeply influenced my thinking on this is bell hooks. In her book Teaching Community, she talks about critical hope—the idea that hope can be a radical act in the face of oppression. Critical hope acknowledges that life is hard and systemic injustice is real, but it also insists that we can still hope and work for change. We don’t have to pretend everything’s fine. We just need to believe that better is possible.

  • Example: Let’s say you’ve had to leave a toxic relationship. Instead of letting that experience fill you with bitterness, you could choose to reflect on what it taught you—maybe about boundaries, self-worth, or the kind of love you truly deserve. Yes, it was painful, but it didn’t destroy you. In fact, it made you wiser. That’s the power of reframing.

Strategy 2: Cultivate Critical Hope

Now that we’ve touched on bell hooks’ idea of critical hope, let’s dig a little deeper. When the world feels overwhelming—whether due to personal struggles or systemic issues—optimism can seem impossible. But critical hope asks us to stay grounded in reality while still believing in our ability to make positive changes.

Audre Lorde, another brilliant thinker, adds to this idea. In her essay “The Master’s Tools Will Never Dismantle the Master’s House,” she emphasizes that real healing and change can’t happen within systems designed to oppress us. This means that while our personal optimism is important, we also need to recognize the collective power of community care. We can’t do it alone.

  • Example: You’re facing systemic racism in your workplace. Critical hope says you don’t have to pretend that racism doesn’t exist. Instead, you acknowledge it and then focus on what actions you can take. Maybe you join a supportive community that’s advocating for change, or you mentor others who face the same struggles. Your optimism isn’t blind; it’s driven by the belief that together, you can create a better environment.

Strategy 3: Reconnect with Your Inner Child

We were our truest selves in childhood. If you were naturally optimistic then, that optimism is still inside you—it’s just been buried by life’s hardships. One way to reignite your optimism is by reconnecting with your inner child, the part of you that still believes in possibility.

This doesn’t mean you have to start acting like a kid again (unless you want to!), but it does mean finding joy in the things you loved as a child. What made you feel alive back then? For me, it was music and creativity. Singing, writing, drawing—those were my outlets. Reconnecting with those passions, even in small ways, has helped me reclaim some of that lost optimism.

  • Example: Maybe as a kid, you loved being outside, climbing trees, or exploring nature. What’s stopping you from going for a walk in the park today? Revisit the activities that brought you joy as a child and see how they make you feel now. It’s a simple way to tap into that sense of wonder.

Strategy 4: Practice Learned Optimism

Martin Seligman’s concept of learned optimism teaches us that our outlook isn’t set in stone. By changing the way we interpret life’s events, we can shift from pessimism to optimism. The key is how we explain setbacks to ourselves. Optimists tend to see problems as temporary and specific, while pessimists view them as permanent and all-encompassing.

  • Tip: Practice cognitive reframing. When something goes wrong, pay attention to how you’re explaining it to yourself. Are you saying, “This always happens to me,” or “I’ll never succeed”? Challenge those thoughts. Instead, remind yourself that setbacks are temporary and don’t define your future.
  • Example: You applied for your dream job but didn’t get it. Instead of spiraling into self-doubt, practice learned optimism: “This job wasn’t the right fit for me right now, but I’ll keep working and applying. My effort will pay off in another opportunity.” It’s not about ignoring the setback but about framing it in a way that keeps you moving forward.

Strategy 5: Build Community Care and Collective Strength

One of the most powerful lessons from bell hooks and Audre Lorde is the importance of community. Healing and optimism don’t have to be solo efforts. In fact, they’re often stronger when shared. When you connect with others who’ve faced similar struggles, you create a space for collective healing.

  • Example: If you’ve been through trauma, whether personal or systemic, find communities where you can share your experiences and learn from others. This might be a support group, an online community, or even a group of friends who “get it.” Collective care can lift you when your individual optimism wavers, reminding you that you’re not alone in this journey.

Conclusion: Optimism Is an Act of Resistance

Reigniting childhood optimism isn’t about ignoring life’s challenges. It’s about recognizing the strength that comes from facing those challenges and still choosing to believe in better. Whether it’s reframing past difficulties, practicing learned optimism, reconnecting with your inner child, or finding strength in community, each strategy helps you reclaim hope.

Optimism, especially in the face of trauma and systemic oppression, is a radical act. It’s a reminder that despite everything, there is always room for growth, joy, and possibility. So, take small steps today—whether it’s finding joy in a childhood activity or reframing a setback. You deserve to feel the same sense of unshakable hope you once had as a child. And with time, you can.

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